Tire Humor

Company Cars



Company Cars have the following features rarely found in Private Cars:

  • They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.
  • They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.
  • They have a much shorter braking distance.
  • They have a much tighter turning circle.
  • They can take ramps or any other hazard at twice the speed of private cars.
  • Battery, water, oil and tire pressures hardly ever need to be checked.
  • The floor is shaped like an ashtray.
  • They only use the most expensive gasoline.
  • They do not need to be garaged at night.
  • They can be driven forever with the oil warning light flashing.
  • They very seldom need cleaning, especially inside.
  • The suspension is reinforced to permit carriage of concrete slabs or other heavy building materials for weekend DIY work.
  • They are specially adapted to allow reverse gear to be engaged whilst the car is still moving forward.
  • The tire walls are designed to allow bumping into and over curbs.
  • Unusual or alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by adjusting of the radio volume control.
  • No security needed - they may be left unlocked with the keys in the ignition.
  • They are designed to tow loads far exceeding normal and are suited for backing into water at boat loading ramps.
  • No need to take the foot off the clutch while waiting for the lights to change.
  • Much better for the 17 year olds to learn driving in.



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